Purpose

     Lord, I want to thank you for this summer.  It has been fun, and it has also been trying.  The trying part comes from me not really knowing what my purpose is here.  I've been struggling with that a lot.  It can't be to impact the kids that come through here, because the most I can do is wave at them from behind my glass.  And I don't see this time as one that will produce long-lasting friendships.  Half of the staff feel so far away from me, just because of personality differences.  And with the ones I have gotten to know, I don't have the opportunity to get to know them better.  So what is my purpose?  The answer that I've seen so far is that I am to encourage people.  You keep reminding me about the poster that everyone signed at the beginning, and how its common theme is encouragement.  So is that all of my purpose here?  Am I missing something? 
    I also wonder about what you have for me here this summer.  How are you going to grow me?  So far, I feel like you're showing me the power of prayer.  I also think its a summer of letting go.  Letting go of past mistakes, letting go of boy drama, and letting go of my control.  Because I want you in control, Lord.  Not me.  I'm just afraid of letting go because I don't know if I can hear your voice well enough yet.  So if I let go, will I just sort of be floating aimlessly?  I know you're there, ready to catch me, but it's like that space between a dangling foot and the step.  not very far at all, but it's truly terrifying.  So help me to have the courage to let go, and fall into your arms.  Help me to hear your voice, and to follow your leading.  Help me to be who you want me to be.
     Amen.