Clarity

     I feel like screaming from this lack of clarity, but am stifled by the mud around me.  Shadows of uncertainty spring up on all sides, clouding my vision, turning my mind to cotton.  My thoughts turn to any shred of distraction, begging for a moment of peace.  But those scraps are fleeting, the peace like sand grasped then falling from my clenched hand.  What a way to live.  This is the result of my control; how pitiful my actions, how nonexistent the benefits of such control.  I cannot go on like this, life cannot be lived in a haze.
      Father God, help me to let go of my worries and my attempt at control.  I am inadequate in far lesser concerns, let alone these matters.  Give me focus, Lord, and keep my mind sharp.  I pray also for your lasting peace.  I know how much I need you, God, and yet so many times I try to prove that truth wrong.  Forgive me Lord, and fill me with a strength of will so that I may overcome my struggles.