I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, and I came across a personality type quiz that my cousin had done. His answer surprised me greatly, so I decided to take it to see if my results would be as far off the mark as his were. Lo and behold, my results were pretty spot on. It read as follows: "I value logic, knowledge, and dreams. My mind is my weapon, and I love learning new things and being in control. At best, I'm brilliant and progressive. At worst, I'm cold and manipulative."
Like I said, fairly spot on. I am very logical, and I love being in the know of things. I'm not afraid to dream, and I like to support others in theirs. I do try and outsmart a situation whenever I can. Loopholes are my friends. I find them quickly, and use them to my advantage whenever possible. I also do like feeling in control of my surroundings. I'm not sure on the 'at best' part, but I could definitely see myself coming off as cold and manipulative if something were to push me to that point. So how could the same quiz be so right about me, and so wrong about him?
His results were this: "I value honor, order, and peace. I am optimistic and selfless, and I love to protect the people I care about. My actions are driven by justice and goodwill. At my best, I am charismatic and brave. At my worst, I am authoritarian and prudish." Now anyone who knows my cousin knows that this assessment is basically his polar opposite. He's perpetually pessimistic, and honestly, rather selfish in a lot of his life. He deeply loves the people he cares about, but hasn't quite mastered the balance between healthy, strong love and crushing over-protectiveness. His actions are also driven, not by justice, but by what he feels like doing at the moment. He's not really charismatic, and I'd want to nuance the term bravery before trying to apply it to him. He's not cowardly, by any means, but there are some aspects of bravery that he lacks. I'd never use the terms 'authoritarian' or 'prudish' when describing him, either.
So I had to do a double-take. Surely, they can't be talking about MY cousin. There's no way. But then a thought occurred to me: The answer is what could fit him, if only he'd let himself become the person that the quiz described. He has the potential to be a really great, Godly man, if only he would let God work on him. But currently, he's far too stubborn, and frankly, stupid. And it hurts. My heart physically aches for him. I long for the day when God will grab him by the heart and never let him go back to his current state. He's missing out on so much joy, and he knows that none of his strategies (like drinking) are going to solve his miseries. He knows that God is the one who does that. But he won't reach out and take it. He won't surrender.
Not only did that one quiz result cause me to do a double-take, but it also brought up a renewed longing for my cousin. I will never give up in my prayers for him, and I have faith that God can chisel him into the masterpiece that God intended him to be. Not only that, but I live in the hope that one day, God WILL make him the man I know he could be. One day, I will no longer have the heartache that comes with my cousin. One day, he will be all that God has made him to be. One day, I'll look at him and do a double-take. And one day, nothing will stop my heart from being joyful.
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