Reflections

     This weekend, I got to be home, celebrating my mom's birthday with her.  And it has been super good to take time to spend with my family.  I miss them all so much while I'm away.  Today, my mom and my youngest brother and I went around at the lake in my hometown, taking pictures, and enjoying the beauty that God had given us in this fall day.  While we were there, the lake was nice and calm, creating the perfect mirror of the autumn beauty around it.  It looked otherworldly.  It was like the lake was not a lake at all, but a continuation of the world above it, but with a different depth.  It was so cool, and we took several pictures of that awesome reflection.
     Those reflections reminded me of some other reflections that I had been thinking on the other day.  We had been given time to reflect on our semester so far in chapel, and here's what I wrote down:
     Oh Lord, to reflect on the semester, I see both joys and pain.  Joy at finally not having any boy drama of my own, joy at having so many good friends that I can lean on and help support.  Father, you've been so good to me.  Thank you for using this time to grow me, to mold me more into the woman you want me to become.  Help continue to grow me through the pains of this semester.  Father I know you will, because of all that you've brought me through in the past.  You bless me each and every day, and I'm truly thankful.  I may not always act like it, but Father, you know my heart, and you know the overflowing joy that resides there.  And as I go through this hard time of losing a friend, I pray that you will often remind me of all the joy I have.  Father, I don't know how this time in my life is going to play out.  Will my friendship be reconciled?  Am I going to be able to pull through on all my studies?  Will I be able to graduate on a decent time frame?  Will I find somewhere and something that I love to do after college?  I don't know.  Only you know, and I will follow you.  I only worry about how hard my hearing is though.  Am I and will I hear your calling correctly?  Father, I do not know what you are preparing me for.  It scares me.  As much as I know that you hold me in the palm of your hand, I still worry.  I don't question your ability, but I question my own.  I question where I am to meet you.  Help me Lord to find my way.