This weekend, I got to be home, celebrating my mom's birthday with her. And it has been super good to take time to spend with my family. I miss them all so much while I'm away. Today, my mom and my youngest brother and I went around at the lake in my hometown, taking pictures, and enjoying the beauty that God had given us in this fall day. While we were there, the lake was nice and calm, creating the perfect mirror of the autumn beauty around it. It looked otherworldly. It was like the lake was not a lake at all, but a continuation of the world above it, but with a different depth. It was so cool, and we took several pictures of that awesome reflection.
Those reflections reminded me of some other reflections that I had been thinking on the other day. We had been given time to reflect on our semester so far in chapel, and here's what I wrote down:
Oh Lord, to reflect on the semester, I see both joys and pain. Joy at finally not having any boy drama of my own, joy at having so many good friends that I can lean on and help support. Father, you've been so good to me. Thank you for using this time to grow me, to mold me more into the woman you want me to become. Help continue to grow me through the pains of this semester. Father I know you will, because of all that you've brought me through in the past. You bless me each and every day, and I'm truly thankful. I may not always act like it, but Father, you know my heart, and you know the overflowing joy that resides there. And as I go through this hard time of losing a friend, I pray that you will often remind me of all the joy I have. Father, I don't know how this time in my life is going to play out. Will my friendship be reconciled? Am I going to be able to pull through on all my studies? Will I be able to graduate on a decent time frame? Will I find somewhere and something that I love to do after college? I don't know. Only you know, and I will follow you. I only worry about how hard my hearing is though. Am I and will I hear your calling correctly? Father, I do not know what you are preparing me for. It scares me. As much as I know that you hold me in the palm of your hand, I still worry. I don't question your ability, but I question my own. I question where I am to meet you. Help me Lord to find my way.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Victories in Jesus
"Oh Victory in Jesus, my Savior forever..." It has been a very long time since I have sung that wonderful old hymn. I can't even remember how long it has been. But it is a song I like to sing every now and then as a reminder of His goodness.
Here at school, we take time away from classes to participate in Day of Prayer and Bible conference. They are wonderful days when we can simply dig into God's word, meditate on it, and worship Him. I love these days. Seeing everyone come together to worship and rest in His word, it's like glimpsing what Heaven will be like, and it makes me so excited to live like that for all eternity. But over my few years here, I've noticed a trend among the sessions. The trend is the topics of pain and struggling, and admitting that we're going through it.
Now struggling is an important issue, I'll be the first to say so. We need to remember our humanity, our brokenness and our failings. We also need to remember that we are not alone in our suffering. But in all that remembering, I think we lose sight of another important topic.
There's so many people who refuse to live in the past. They say they don't want their past to define them, or that the past is the past and cannot change, so why bother dwelling on it? And whenever something bad happened, I'm one of those people. But in living so much in a present- and future-minded way, we have gotten to an instant-gratification mindset and we forget the lessons the past had to teach us.
In such a way, I think we often forget to dwell on the victories that God has brought us through. We get caught up in thinking about all that still needs to be done. We forget the blessings and the victories of the past. We forget about that very thing that gives us our hope for the things God will do.
How often do we rejoice and worship in those victories? How often are we just wowed and awed by what God has done? How often are our thanksgivings off-the-cuff- niceties? "Thank you Lord for getting me through this week." "Thank you for the wonderful weather we had." "Thanks for helping me pass this test." "Thanks for letting the interview go well." Thanks for this small detail of my life that I will forget about in ten seconds.
Most often, our praise of God focuses on His death on the cross and what that meant for us. And while that is huge, fundamental, and very important, it's also limiting. Our view of God is too small if we think that His sacrifice and what He will do is all He's good for. We have such a tremendous opportunity to be astounded by what God has done, and to be blown away by why we place our hope in Him. "God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me." He continually shows us that, and we so often forget.
Here at school, we take time away from classes to participate in Day of Prayer and Bible conference. They are wonderful days when we can simply dig into God's word, meditate on it, and worship Him. I love these days. Seeing everyone come together to worship and rest in His word, it's like glimpsing what Heaven will be like, and it makes me so excited to live like that for all eternity. But over my few years here, I've noticed a trend among the sessions. The trend is the topics of pain and struggling, and admitting that we're going through it.
Now struggling is an important issue, I'll be the first to say so. We need to remember our humanity, our brokenness and our failings. We also need to remember that we are not alone in our suffering. But in all that remembering, I think we lose sight of another important topic.
There's so many people who refuse to live in the past. They say they don't want their past to define them, or that the past is the past and cannot change, so why bother dwelling on it? And whenever something bad happened, I'm one of those people. But in living so much in a present- and future-minded way, we have gotten to an instant-gratification mindset and we forget the lessons the past had to teach us.
In such a way, I think we often forget to dwell on the victories that God has brought us through. We get caught up in thinking about all that still needs to be done. We forget the blessings and the victories of the past. We forget about that very thing that gives us our hope for the things God will do.
How often do we rejoice and worship in those victories? How often are we just wowed and awed by what God has done? How often are our thanksgivings off-the-cuff- niceties? "Thank you Lord for getting me through this week." "Thank you for the wonderful weather we had." "Thanks for helping me pass this test." "Thanks for letting the interview go well." Thanks for this small detail of my life that I will forget about in ten seconds.
Most often, our praise of God focuses on His death on the cross and what that meant for us. And while that is huge, fundamental, and very important, it's also limiting. Our view of God is too small if we think that His sacrifice and what He will do is all He's good for. We have such a tremendous opportunity to be astounded by what God has done, and to be blown away by why we place our hope in Him. "God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me." He continually shows us that, and we so often forget.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
The Pain Family
I was reflecting on Job the other day, and all the pain he went through during the time when Satan was trying to get him to curse God. That then got me thinking about the different types of pain there are. Then that became this:
The Pain Family
There's a family that came to visit
Nay, they came to stay.
Their presence follows me around sometimes
Their touch invading the every day.
There's Father Pain, a big strong man, who carries a crushing weight.
There's Mother Pain, a quiet woman, who permeates everything with melancholy.
Then Child Pain, so young yet, who comes on hot and fast, energy spiking and fading quickly.
They come 'round one by one, sometimes in pairs, sometimes by their three.
Their presence is unwelcomed, but how can they be asked to leave?
How can these hospitable responsibilities be relieved?
They need another invitation, but not from this poor soul.
But that offer's already extended, I just need to let them go.
The Pain Family
There's a family that came to visit
Nay, they came to stay.
Their presence follows me around sometimes
Their touch invading the every day.
There's Father Pain, a big strong man, who carries a crushing weight.
There's Mother Pain, a quiet woman, who permeates everything with melancholy.
Then Child Pain, so young yet, who comes on hot and fast, energy spiking and fading quickly.
They come 'round one by one, sometimes in pairs, sometimes by their three.
Their presence is unwelcomed, but how can they be asked to leave?
How can these hospitable responsibilities be relieved?
They need another invitation, but not from this poor soul.
But that offer's already extended, I just need to let them go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)